cuteguy81's footnote

I lay on my bed thinking of you now. I lay still in my bed, trying not to fall asleep, crossing the barrier from “awake” to “dreaming” . I listened to sad, heartbreaking music, all about missing someone, someone that get away, someone they had once loved. " What is the word for missing someone, for knowing there is something missing from you because they are not there, when you have never had them to begin with? Does that word exist?" I touched your hand, trying to hold it. I don’t think you know I did, but I felt it. It’s little things like this that I miss, the tiny bits that make up a whole imagined life, something we could have had, if we were two different people. Sometimes I stare at you, and I wonder what you are thinking. You have these soft, kind loving eyes, and sometimes I imagine that they are only this way with me, but I know that can’t be true. I am sure that you look at me just like you look at everyone else; captivating, smart, but ultimately uninterested...

2012, the year that is full of fun, surprises, challenges, and ultimately still left me with a very broken heart. 1. Get the courage to attempt 21km run in PJ Dawn Marathon although the event is organized poorly. My 2nd run in Putrajaya Night Marathon is a better one. Still thinking whether I will dare to attempt full marathon in my life. 2. Hike the magnificent Tiger Leaping Gorges in Lijiang with my boss and colleagues. 3. Join BERSIH to demonstrate against unfair election at Dataran Merdeka, get hit by teargas but in the end feel the warm of all Malaysians around me when we are surrounded by the violent around us. 4. Visited Taiwan for the 1st time for LeCroy's training; met some 'Ping Lang Xi Shi', went to the famous Shihlin night market and tried the famous stinky beancurd. 5. Training at LeCroy Geneva; step into Switzerland and France , two of the countries that I wanted to visit since I started working in Genetron. 6. First road tri...

*disclaimer* This is an emo post. Read at your own risk :p  Christina Perri say : 'Distance' is a song about loving someone at the wrong time in your life, maybe its too soon, maybe its too late  but never the less its about being around that one whom your heart longs for without being about to show your true feelings, without being able to tell them.  And now, I need to do what she is singing; keeping the distance on the one person that I fall with. The feeling is heart-breaking but I know I won't be able to touch her heart and make her fall for me. Not sure whether I am that bad but I know I am not good enough. Thinking of her every waking minutes, wanted to message her all the time but prohibiting myself from doing that. Time will make my feeling fade but at this moment, I really want to still hold on to this feeling. But I realise that ' 最后的疼爱是手放开 ' :'( And letting go of her is also a release for me. P.S.: Missing you every moment, wishing you...

Meeting you is a fate entwined in so many ways, liking you is unexpected, but falling for you is something that I cannot control. Sept. 1, 2011 - mark the first time I met you. As much as you don't like to wake up early to go for activity, you somehow join them for the hike. And that is your first and I believe, only hike. For me, I am not even in the group and only know a friend that is going to the hike, but knowing myself, I stupidly message her the night before and say I want to join. And that's how I get to know you. Feb 26, 2012 - the first time I going out with you for dinner and movie after months of messaging. I have so much fun teasing you and get to know you more. Our friendship officially start on that day. Our first movie Messaging you become a habit to me. In the morning, wishing you a good day and at night, wishing you sweet dream. Teasing you as much as I can, I sometimes worry that I tease you too much. Not realising along the way, I st...

Recalling back this day last year, I remember it was a very historical day for Malaysia as a whole. This is the day when Malaysians as a whole, coming out in forces to rally for a better future of Malaysia. This day also culminating into me deciding to join BERSIH 3.0 on 28th April 2012 and get into war with Malaysia with hundreds of thousands of Malaysians. However, what I did on 709? On this day, I lost a friendship. I remember I went to watch  Transformers: Dark of The Moon with one of my close friend. And the first time I ate at WENDY's . Hahaha ~_^ This event etched into my heart because this is the last time I watch movie with her and since then, one year have passed and our friendship deteriorating until almost non-existent. From the times when we can talk and messages each other everyday, but now, I don't even know her present situation, present life, and present work. To be fair, I know that girls do this to friends when they get a boyfriend but then, I still...

5th May 2012 marks the 2,556th Year of Buddha Era. As a Buddhist, I celebrate this festival to commemorate  the birth, enlightenment, and death of the Buddha. 4th May 2012, Wesak's eve, ending the year with celebrating Wesak's eve at Buddhist Gems Fellowship (BGF), joining in the Puja, listening to Bro Benny Liow's talk and capped with performance by iGemz. iGemz Naughty Aiden 5th May 2012, starting the new year in the morning at BGF, with lots of activities planned by BGF such as morning puja, performance by the iGemz kid, talk, blessing (get a red string ) and lunch dana. Performance by the Kids The main highlight of the day will be bathing of the baby buddha. This symbolises the purification of our mind to remove our mental dirt of greed, hatred and ignorance.  Preparing myself to walk for a long distance at night, I get back home to have a good rest after lunch dana.  Buddhist Maha Vihara The most beautiful procession Bea...

April 28, 2012 will forever be etched into my heart. This is the day I stand up for what I believe in as a Malaysian, and the day I walk with ten of thousands of Malaysian. A peaceful start   My day started early in the morning when I get out from my house at around 9.30am. Fearing that there will be road blocks, I insist of fetching a friend of mine, ON in Cheras and not meeting him in the city. From there, we proceed toward the capital. To make a long story short, after some difficulties (driving, walking and taking bus), we manage to reach the cordoned-off Dataran Merdeka around 12.00pm. There is festive-like atmosphere and the crowd is enjoying themselves taking pictures, sight-seeing and chatting around. We joined the crowd, took pictures and walking around Dataran Merdaka due to the fact that we cannot enter  the square. Walking around, I cannot help to realise that every races is there attending this so-called rally. What a sights to behold!!! A...